The Polite Person’s Guide to Conversing with Artificial Intelligence

Every good conversation begins with the right tools.

Artificial Intelligence may not yet be setting the table or pouring the martinis à la Mad Men, but it is already consuming vast amounts of energy and water to answer your questions.¹

Each query, however dainty or grand, requires electricity to power massive servers, and water to cool them.

Think of AI as a cross between a reference librarian and a copy editor partner: immensely helpful when consulted properly, but exhausting if you make them re-file the card catalog every time you forget a detail.

As gracious hosts of this new technology, it is our duty to practice proper AI etiquette — to minimize unnecessary waste of electrons, carbon, and good manners.

Proper Introductions: Say Please and Thank You

While AI has no feelings (not even the repressed ones that Don Draper might drown in whiskey), a little courtesy goes a long way. Addressing AI politely keeps us mindful that we are in dialogue, not dictation.

• Please and thank you build habits of respect that spill over into our human exchanges.
• Remember: your words may later be read by colleagues. A brusque “do this” can land as harsh; a courteous “please help with this” reads collegial.

Much like offering a cocktail before beginning business in a Madison Avenue office, manners smooth the way.

Crafting the Invitation: Ask Once, Ask Well

A question posed neatly is a question half-answered.

Every AI query draws upon global resources. Repetition — “Tell me again, what’s the capital of France?” — is like leaving the tap running while polishing the silver. A true waste of energy.

Instead, frame your questions with precision, as if penning an elegant dinner invitation: the more specific the address, the more likely your guest (the AI) will arrive properly attired with the correct reply.

Excusing Oneself Gracefully: Know When to Stop Talking

Even robots deserve a little classroom decorum.

AI, like a talkative uncle after two Manhattans, will gladly ramble on. But every extra paragraph means more servers whirring, more water drawn for cooling.

If you need a recipe for lemon bars, ask for the recipe — not the twelve-volume history of citrus cultivation. Your dessert tray will not be improved by needless extravagance.

The Good Housekeeper’s Rule: Save Energy for What Matters

No need to iron the socks.

Reserve AI for tasks where it truly shines: synthesizing complex reports, brainstorming fresh ideas, or editing drafts. These are the copy-editor and librarian roles it excels at.

Avoid indulgences that sap resources without much return, such as:

• Generating dozens of social media captions when two will do.
• Using AI as a party trick — for instance, the whimsical site Please, Peter, which politely answers questions but consumes compute for little real gain.

These are the digital equivalent of ironing socks — fussy, unnecessary, and wasteful.

• Asking questions you already know, simply to fill the silence.

Hosting With Care: Stewardship of Shared Resources

Connection is never free — someone pays the bill.

Remember: data centers draw from the same grids and reservoirs as our homes. To treat AI as an infinite fountain is to borrow against our neighbors’ comfort. To use it wisely is to honor both innovation and the environment.

The Mad Men office had secretaries to type endless memos — but today, our “secretary” is a server farm in Iowa, running hot and thirsty. Shall we not treat it with respect?

In Closing

Every modern office has its hidden costs.

Treat your AI as you would a helpful but resource-intensive appliance — somewhere between the family vacuum cleaner and a long-distance telephone call. Be polite, be purposeful, and avoid needless extravagance.

Your grandchildren (and your lemon bars) will thank you.

1. A 2023 study from the University of California, Riverside estimated that training a single large AI model can consume millions of liters of freshwater for cooling.